extra marital affairs turn into marriage?

has anyone out there been the extra marital affair that actually ended up marrying the person you had the affair with? i’m just curious as to how you managed to get past the trust issues, the thoughts of them going to turn around and have affairs behind your back, etc. and if you believe that the marriage even stands a chance of lasting.
thanks for all the answers.

i’ve seen this type of marriage happen in good and bad cases.

sometimes it’s a case of meeting the right person at the wrong time.
sometimes the affair’s marriage last simply due to the dirty laundry past that they share, and are too insecure and/or guilty to leave the marriage, due to the whole, who’d want them after hearing about their past.
but the case i’m referring to, specifically, is the woman having the affair has had on and off again trust issues with the married man prior to him divorcing. and i get the impression that she may marry him with the belief that once she’s got him, she’ll either be able to change him, or simply put all the doubts aside and magically trust will appear.

who knows. but it is very true, every marriage is significantly different than the next.

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15 Responses to “extra marital affairs turn into marriage?”

  1. nonameblonde says:

    Statistically, less than 1% of those relationships work out.

  2. xp2c says:

    I know of a few of these. However, it seems like I first met one (or both) spouses while they were in counseling with their previous spouse. I have the unfortunate pleasure of continuing the counseling into the second marriage. The trust issue, it seems, is pretty dominate.

  3. Nat says:

    I have some freinds (a couple in their 50′s)…she left her fiance on their wedding day and married another man. That was 30 years ago and they are still together…they are the best couple I know! Of course, most marriages that start like this are probably doomed, but I’m glad it worked out for them.

  4. loveless says:

    nope….. got my heart broken and will never do it again!!! remember once a cheater always a cheater!!!! sorry but true!

  5. OhWell says:

    My dad married the woman he left my mom for after 25 years of marriage. There is still no trust in their marriage. They lie to each other all the time, just to sooth the issues dealing with this. They are always fighting. I have stopped speaking to my dad.

  6. KJ says:

    french fries will never become a main dish.
    mashed potato and gravy will never become a main dish.
    steamed broccoli will never become a main dish.

    but 24oz rib eye can be my main dish anytime.

    you don’t get this, do you?

  7. harold says:

    No way, if he cheated on her, he will cheat on you,.

  8. Fred K says:

    What started out at poking a little fun at her, turned into a marriage of ten years with two children of our own. We were both married at the time of our meeting. The trust issue, to be honest is not an issue.

  9. Dog Rescuer says:

    Affair marriage always fail !!!!

    The relationship is condemned before it begins because the person you are having the affair with is practicing lies, and deceit to be with you behind the current spouse’s back…

    YOU SEE first hand how untrustworthy they are… and if you marry the adulterer..YOU”RE next to be lied to a deceived once they get past the romance stage with you..{Usually six months}

    A marriage to a person like this doesn’t stand a chance…..

  10. swtlilblonde31 says:

    I had a friend who married her lover…both had marriages that ended due to the affair and after they married they are now facing divorce two years later…for him cheating on her….surprise surprise.

  11. REDNECK IN BLISS says:

    Yep it can we’ve been together for 13 years .. married for 8 .. two kids .. three dogs…

    Trust is a NON-issue.. I beleive that she will never cheat on me.. and if she thinks that I might, she has never expressed any thoughts on the subject.

  12. Erika M says:

    I am sure that every situation is different and most probably don’t last. However, my father married the woman that he left us for. They have been married 10 years now & are an amazing couple. Sometimes it doesn’t actually have to do with the person, but the couple. My parents were terrible together & both were always unhappy in the marriage. My father made a bad choice in not ending the marriage before he started a new relationship, but for him it was probably because of me & my sisters. They are better people apart and they learned a lot from their failed marriage. So, it is possible…but not very probable. You just have to choose to trust him or not…if you can’t, then it isn’t going to last. Every marriage is different, but there are a few very common things that it needs to survive…trust, communication and mutual respect. Good luck!

  13. DarkCat says:

    My wife, now ex-wife, had an affair. I caught her in the act (a visual now burned into my brain). We divorced soon after and she turned around and married the other guy.

    They have been married three years now. It is his first marriage and my wife’s third (she was married briefly once before me which should have been my first clue). I was talking to him recently and he told me he believes in the Three Strikes Rule. This is his first marriage therefore he has a couple more coming before he gets it right!

    Hahahaha. What an ass.

    I can not wait until their marriage fails!

  14. NoC says:

    I get it KJ and nicely put.

    Side dishes, something on the side.

  15. someperson says:

    Yes,
    My affair with a married man turned into a marriage within 2 years of his ending his first marriage. He was a dedicated and wonderful husband to me, but sadly, he died 2 years into our marriage, of brain cancer. Talk about a dream turned nightmare. Sure never thought an affair would lead straight to young widowhood.

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